Headline: Facebook Steals Baby Photos

Once upon a time there was a thing called Facebook "notes".  And for awhile, some of us used them.  Then Facebook did one of its many changes and notes was hidden.  If you worked at it, you could find it.  But they pretty much went away.

So it's taken about 3 years to find the below pictures of baby #2.  At various points, I searched our computers.  I searched my email.  I searched LaurenJean's website.  I could not find them.  Then Facebook changes again and suddenly there's a "notes" section featured on my homepage.  And all this time, these have been lost in "notes"!

Just to add, this was one of LaurenJean's first infant photo shoots (maybe the first one) back in 2009 for learning purposes.  She rocks.

Names

We're working on boys' names and it seems hard.  The first conversation we had, we both liked "Thaddeus" and "Philemon".  But I feel like it's a little much for Stellan (not his real name, remember) as he's already had enough to deal with in life and I'd like his name to be more straightforward.  Maybe even more common.  Or more American.  Just to make things more simple for him.

So, as with each of our children, I continue through the baby names' lists, narrowing down what I like, present them to Matt and he narrows them down further.  So together we added about six more names.  Pretty straightforward.  Varying degrees of common.  And when I would feel pretty sure about one, Matt didn't agree.  And when he'd push one, I wasn't sure I agreed.

It just seems so hard.  I think partly because Stellan is already here.  And we can see him.  It adds another layer as we're both picking a name and I can also look at him and contemplate whether or not it fits.  There are a few that I think fit, but it's hard to be definitive.

at almost 3 years old

Tonight I really wanted us to decide.  So we pored over this small list of names.  And I like them.  But at least for tonight, none of them have quite been clicking.  So I told Matt that what needs to happen is what has happened every other time:  he randomly provides a name out of left field that I have to contemplate and end up acquiescing to.  (Hence both Titus and Kali.)

Side note:  I threw out the name "Titus" one night when we were talking baby names, but not seriously.  We had been disagreeing on EVERY name so I started suggesting random ones.  But then Matt said he liked it.  I had to sit back and think about it.  And mentally came around to it.  And we both decided we kind of liked it.  And we didn't really talk about it much more for the next however many months and then Titus was born and that was his name.

For baby #2, I thought naming her after she was born would be a great plan.  I made a huge list of girls' names, assuming we'd have plenty of labor-time in the hospital to talk about them.  Sitting in the hospital bed, Matt in a chair beside me, he pulls open his laptop to look at this list of mine, starts running through it crazy-fast, going "no" or "maybe" and the first one he got to that he liked said, "Let's name her that."  Without even looking through the whole list!  So I stop him to start trying to explain each name.  And I pick one of the most ridiculous ones on my list (Calliope) and start explaining that for instance, we could call her "Callie".  And he loves the idea of Kali, because it's a computer program he's used in the past.  And I love my husband's mad computer skills and think that would be a special thing to name her (and find out later that it was a program he used to play older video games on a new type of Internet infrastructure).

So most common name of all?  I named Ella!  How in the world did that happen?  I was looking at little girl names one night and saw quite a few that I liked that began with "El" and I had this great idea that we could pick one of these more unique "El" names and call her "Ella".  I run it by Matt and he likes the idea.  So we start calling her Ella while she's in my belly.  And I'm thinking that we'll maybe name her "Eloise".  But by the time she was born, we had spent so many months calling her "Ella" that it seemed wrong to name her anything else.

So onto Stellan... my husband threw out a left-field name for me.  Well, actually I started to do a few more out-of-the-box searches and while throwing out names to him stumbled upon this one that he remarked, "When you told me to give you a left field name, that was what I was thinking."  So we both sat back to think about it.  It is not as common as the other names on our list, friends.  But it is more straightforward than "Philemon".  We're sleeping on it.  We'll see.  :)

Side note:  Bank of America got back to me with a document and it works!  We'll have to send it back to California to be apostilled, but it works!

Also, Stellan is already born so once we name him, you can't hate on our name choice.  Not that I know anyone that would have ever given a family negative feedback on their baby name choice before their baby was born... ;)

(I wouldn't know--we never shared ahead of time to avoid that very thing.)

A Gift

Received our first gift for Stellan!  I'm holding it the wrong way, but it's the most adorable doodle board ever.  And you can see that it has a lap pillow on the other side.  So fun to receive.  I might have almost cried at Chuck E. Cheese.  (Below you can see my happy/sad/emotional/humbled/excited face.)

A few weeks ago I bought a teether for him.  Simply looking at pictures was getting to be too much and it felt good to do something tangible for him.  (Similar to picking up things at the store for my kids when I was expecting.)

Also, Bank of America got back to me.  They should have our document done by the end of next week.  I do not know what it will look like, but pray that it is just what we need.  :)

The Paper Chase: Lap 1

Been feeling pretty overwhelmed/unsure of the crazy list of documents I received that we have to do.  Mostly because they have to be apostilled and I totally didn't get it.  After asking a bunch of questions in my resource forum, I started to get a mental grasp on what we have to do and started feeling more comfortable.

So... looking at our mortgage verification form, I said, "Hey Matt, I think I'm going to go down to the bank and get this one done."

We have to do two forms about our house:  one from the county on the details of our home and one from the bank on our mortgage balance.  If either party is willing to provide all of the above information, then we only need one form.  I thought our bank had all of this information, so I copied and pasted a new form to include both and then printed two copies of each:  the one for just the bank and the one with all of the info I had just created.

Our documents have to be perfect, no errors, no white-outs, so I was trying to cover my bases that I would have whatever I needed with me.  The kids were napping and I left.

Prayed my way to the bank.

First of all, they did not have any house details, so I slipped the paper that would have saved us a trip to the county recorder's office to the side and presented the simple bank document.

Met with a banker and... Bank of America will not sign documents.  They will not write letters for people, either.  The banker I met with seemed so uncomfortable that I was even asking her to.   I literally need a piece of paper with these two things:  our monthly payment and our current mortgage balance.  She had them on her computer in front of her, but she had to call their mortgage department to see what they could do.

They faxed an official Bank of America document that showed this information (and a bunch of other stuff).  I thought it was probably too busy of a document to work, but I asked if she could sign it.  And once again, couldn't even sign an official document from their own bank.  And like I said, this woman seemed so scared to sign anything.

On top of that, her manager was coming in and out to check on our progress and reiterate to me that they wouldn't be signing anything for me.  And she wasn't even the type of manager that smiles and makes you think they might fulfill your request even if they don't.  She was the kind of manager where even her smiles seem hesitant and forced.

And I sat there and I tried.  I'm the deal-with-customer-service person in our marriage so I kept my attitude in check, smiled, and repeatedly let the banker know that in order to do this adoption, I need this information, signed and notarized by our mortgage lender and that is them.

And ultimately, I've already shared what happened.  I spent almost an hour at the bank and concluded with emotions brushing the surface, a shaky smile on my face, collecting my papers with the blood pounding in my ears, and thanking her for her time.

So close to crying out of sheer frustration and just this mix of vulnerability.  Fact is:  we have numerous documents we have to get numerous people to sign.  And a simple trip to the bank did not end so well.

Went home and called their 1-800 number.  Asked him to bear with me, explained our situation, and implored that he find some way to help us.  And they weren't joking in our local branch.  Bank of America does not sign things and they do not write letters.  And I get it--covering your legal behinds and all--I get it.  But we need this document.

So he spoke with his supervisor.  And he spoke with his supervisor.  And there are some other people they need to get in touch with to get this--if they can--done for us.  So he, Justin, will be getting back to me on Monday to let me know where they are on it.  **Let's pray for Justin and whatever is going on in his life right now.**  But they're working on it!  It's a pretty particular document that we need so I sent him the checklist of the things it has to state (our full names, address, etc.).  I really hope they're able to put something together for us.

Talking with a friend about it today, she believes we'll be facing spiritual warfare in this process.  She advised we get our prayer requests out ahead of time so that we can be surrounded in a community of prayer for the specific things we're working on at any given time by all of you.  (I am such a weird believer--prideful believer?--asking for prayer isn't such a common thing for me.)  So here goes:

My Current To Do List
mortgage form
home ownership form w/ county recorder
Matt's employment form
doctor's form
    (negative tests, signing goes smoothly, and not cost too much)
finish autobiography
send marriage certificate to be apostilled
choose health insurance plan
call CASA family - not adoption related, but you can pray for my CASA kids :)

Three Boys

Update!  Amazing, amazing, amazing!  Sebastian and Ianto have both found families!  Please pray with me that Joseph could be so lucky!  He only has one more week before aging out!
_________________________________________________________

From 4/8/13:
The thing that pulls at my heart about these three boys is that all three would really love to be adopted and to have their own families.  They are very close to aging out of this possibility.  Please share their information and please pray for them.

Joseph

Sebastian

Ianto

Special Needs

*disclaimer:  I might not be very PC in this post--I'm still learning...


You know how once you become pregnant, you start noticing pregnant women and babies everywhere?

Today I took the kids to the children's museum and it seemed like there were people with special needs everywhere.  Then again, there were students there from a few different special needs schools.

All of the kids at the museum were having fun and the level of disability varied across the spectrum.  But I couldn't help but look at those that I thought might mirror some of what we'll face with Stellan.  And my mind got caught up in my thoughts...

It is crazy to me that we are adopting a child with cerebral palsy.  Well, it is crazy to me that I am adopting a child with cerebral palsy.  Sparing no expense on myself, special needs are not something I ever wanted to be a part of.  I am a selfish person.  Dealing with more severe special needs seemed like a way to be slowed down and hindered.  I couldn't imagine connecting with a child that couldn't openly communicate with me in some way.  More explicitly, I couldn't imagine connecting with a child with a cognitive disability.

When I was a child, there was a young woman at church who was wheelchair bound, nonverbal, and couldn't move her limbs.  I never understood.  In my ignorance, she seemed a little scary.  She seemed very different from everyone else.  And while I have interacted with some with special needs since then, it's never been on an intimate level.

It is crazy to me that we are choosing this.  God didn't give us a special needs child through pregnancy and birth--He is giving us one by letting us choose this.  And I don't know why this is so significant.  This topic brings a million emotions surging up within me, but no clarity of thought to express a point.

This is not my comfort zone.  This is not my plan.  This is not what I pictured.  But we want him.  It is terrifying, but we want him.  I am sure that I will enter the world of special needs and look back at my silly ignorance one day.  And it is only now that I recognize it as ignorance.  And sadly, this was an ignorance I had always planned to keep.  Out of my own selfishness.

Maybe this is constantly on my heart, because I know that this is God.  And He hasn't spoken to me audibly, but this is left field.  Left field.  This is that area that God works in love, because this wasn't my plan.  And further it shows me how valuable each and every one of us are to Him, in that regardless of our shortcomings and disabilities, He loves us and intervenes for us and wants the best for us.

So I'll try to stop playing this broken record.  I'll try to stop reiterating over and over:  this isn't what I wanted!  Don't you understand?!?!  This is very much my God and very much not me.  I am so humbled by this process.  Scared.  I want a "normal" life for this little boy, but I have to be willing that it might not be so "normal" at all.  And it doesn't come down to what I want--I feel so very very commanded to love this little boy.  Regardless of myself.  So humbled.  This is not us at all.  This is our God!

Adoption: We have a profile!

First of all, check it out!  We have a profile up on Reece's Rainbow!  (There's a picture!)

http://reecesrainbow.org/57146/sponsorbirnie

So technically, I could tell you all more about "Stellan" now--which I really want to do!--but we mailed out pictures and information about him to our family and I'd like to wait until those letters reach them.  I'm so good at being online and so bad at sending real mail, so my dear, sweet, supportive friends, I'm going to make you wait a few more days before gushing about him.  :S

As I was mailing all of these letters, I couldn't help but think that
these are exactly the things that Stellan does not have right now.

But honestly, it's scary.  It's scary to think that our lives will change.  It's scary to think that we won't have the ease of life that we have now, that we won't be able to take things like walking and talking for granted anymore.  It's just a bit scary.

But I feel God so completely in this.  And even if I didn't necessarily "feel" him, it's still obedience.  Quick side note:  I am not trying to say that everyone needs to adopt a special needs child.  In fact, Linny at Our Place Called Simplicity wrote a good post on how every child is important and you're not better than someone else if your adoptive child fits into one particular category instead of another.

I hear story after story of God working things in amazing ways to get this child or that child home.  Just read a story yesterday about a woman that felt God was telling her they were going to adopt one more teenage boy.  (Though they had thought they were done and weren't really in a place where they wanted to then.)  So she prayed that if that was the case, God would just lay him in her lap so that she didn't have to go looking for and trying to find this child.  And at a meeting the next day, a lady opened her laptop to the profile for a boy and plopped it into her lap telling her she needed help advocating for this child.  And there's more to the story, but that was that.

Story after story.

And we have some more incredible praise reports!

1.  We went to an open house on Saturday at a special needs school right here in our town.  I thought we'd get a tour, maybe see another student with cerebral palsy, talk to a few teachers.  We ended up sitting down with the founder of the school for more than an hour while a few of the teachers watched our children.  Oh, I could cry talking about this.  This woman has two children with cerebral palsy and has such an amazing story of God's goodness.  She answered a million questions that we did not even know we had.  We have an incredible resource here and should be able to get most of the services Stellan will need right here in our own town.  We're free to call her cell anytime if we need something.  This woman doesn't take a salary because they're doing okay on her husband's paycheck and she really feels she's just doing what God has led her to do.  The school wasn't even her idea, but something that came about over time and she finally agreed to it.  Seriously, I could write an entire post on how awesome our visit was.  And remember, I have an education background so I mean what I'm saying.  ;)

2.  We've assumed that we would be taking out an adoption loan to pay for this.  But first of all, right at the time we were starting this, we paid off all of our credit cards!  Woo-hoo!  And now, we add to our savings each week, take some away to pay for this or that adoption expense, add a little more, etc...  There is a chance we will be able to pay for the whole thing out of pocket as we go along.  Craziness.

So I know that Reece's Rainbow is set up for us to receive contributions for our adoption, but we'd really like it if those of you that would like to support us monetarily would consider supporting some other amazing ministries.  Look around at Reece's Rainbow to donate to another waiting child or donate to Rise & Shine (our amazing local special needs school that runs off grants & donations) or finance a microloan through WorldVision or some other really cool ministry that has your heart.