Kali's Hair

Once upon a time, Kali got sick.  And as she lay around our home, we did not remember to brush her hair.

On the third day, this was discovered:

I don't know if you can see it, but it is a mat.  A big one.  That could not be detangled.

And so her hair would need to be trimmed evenly.  Goodbye gorgeous ringlet curl.

Here is a different picture after brushing to better show the unevenness.

And since there was a deal on haircuts at the grand opening of a new Great Clips in town--because when a new business opens you always want it to be a second location of a business you already have--we went.  

So stoic.

FYI, Kali got a haircut.

A Scorpion on my Keyboard!

Even as I wrote the title, I had to jerk my hands away to double-check.  Even typing this now is a little difficult.

I was sitting at my computer having a jolly good time and I don't remember why but I lifted my hands away for a second (I was multi-tasking and also watching Dancing with the Stars so maybe it was to give a little added attention to Sabrina and Louis) and the second after I lifted my fingers a scorpion crawled across my keyboard.  Right where I just was.  From the e-r area down to the space bar.  I almost missed it because I had just been about to turn away, but...

It took less than a second and I was running across the room and up our stairs with a bloodcurdling scream. And I stood on the middle landing of our stairs--with my scream maybe lessening a little, though Matt might not have thought so--and Matt came out and I explained and he went to find it.

I remained on the middle landing for a bit and I guess during this time, he saw it move behind my desk and tried to knock my desk into the wall to squish it, but didn't think he got it.  I came down the stairs and stood on a chair in the kitchen to watch.  I tried to keep a good lookout to make sure it didn't get out of that corner.

Well, my work station gets pretty messy and I had a bunch of papers and stuff all around it, so Matt started knocking things off, piece by piece.  Nothing.  So he removed the keyboard, monitor, speakers.  Nothing.  He picked up the little desk and flipped it over.  Nothing.

Matt brought me my shoes and I moved closer to provide another eye.

He moved and unplugged all cords.  Nothing.  He moved my scanner and the computer tower.  Nothing.

And we just kept praying that we would find it.  Praying that God would show us where it was.  Or I would have to be stuck watching the kids upstairs and out of the house for the unforeseeable future.  I really thought it had maybe escaped from the corner before I was watching.

And then Matt saw it.  I don't know how, but he did.  Praise the Lord!

So here was our living room with my demolished work station:

Do you see the scorpion yet?  By the way, I totally thought the thing was 2-3 inches long from seeing its little scamper across my keyboard.  And it ended up being closer to maybe 1-2 inches long.

Now do you see it?

It was camouflaged with the underside of my desk.  Which means it most likely was there holding on the whole time Matt picked it up and flipped it around and turned it over.  Blech.

So praise the Lord, the scorpion was found and is gone!  And I think our pest people are supposed to be coming soon anyway.

And I have to say, that I really like our carpet color, but it totally must be Desert Creature Brown, because it seems that all of Arizona's creepy crawlies just blend in with it.  :(

Also, Praise Praise Praise the Lord that for whatever reason, I moved my fingers the second before it appeared!

Buy Me a Dog: Take 2

Since I posted about Francis, thought I'd also post about yet-to-be-named.  Umm... Paige invited us to the children's museum today.  Which was sort of close to the animal shelter.  So took advantage of the advantage.  And because we went to the children's museum, I bought another dog.  (That could be one form of the truth.)

I don't really want another dog.  But I really thought it would be beneficial for Francis.  Thought it would be nice for her to have a companion.  So we looked for a little puppy and took home the littlest one.  Francis has been afraid of other dogs, so I wanted to get her a little one that maybe she could look out for.

Brought the little puppy (half Francis' size) home and Francis is scared of it.  The puppy is great, though.  I'm starting to think I'm an all-star at picking dogs.  (Which really means, take your toddlers with you and pick a dog that calmly wants to lick their faces.)  The puppy is so lovable it's even worming its way into the very center of Matt's heart.  (I am convinced that spell-check is wrong and the word is "loveable".  What the what!)

So... no doggy bonding.  Which was the whole point.  So I don't know if we're going to keep her.  Francis really does not like other dogs.  I'm assuming bad experience somewhere in her past.  So... like I said, don't know if we're going to keep her.  Despite her utter cuteness and playfulness with the children, I'm not sure I want to potty-train a puppy so that we can have two dogs that sort of tolerate each other.

Realtime Update: Two Toys

Ella was sitting on the floor grunting and screeching in frustration with these two toys.  Because she thinks they should go to together somehow.

She wanted me to help her.  But only one of the man's feet will fit in the car.  (Titus wanted to be in this photo so I told him to come close.)

So I had no good solution for her.  Anyone have any ideas for Ella?  I'm sure she'd really appreciate it.

Vlad: after summer update

First of all, the first thing learned about Vlad after he arrived in the US in July was, his name is not Vlad.  His name is Vova.  And as I write this, Vova is on an airplane heading back to Ukraine.

Here are a few pictures from his first week of hosting:

Vova was hosted with his friend, Bogdon.  I heard that the boys were really enjoying themselves when they first got here.  It was a little hard on their host family, who really wanted to connect with each boy instead of see them interact together so well.  (At least that is what I heard.)  But by the end of the summer, the director learned that they were very unhappy where they were, and the two boys were each placed with a different family for their last week.

Vova's second host family enjoyed him and said that he is a very very very good boy.  He was kind and gentle and wouldn't let his host mom carry anything.  He also enjoyed playing video games.  (How completely surprising!)  And he's a pretty quiet boy, but they got him to come out of his shell quite a few times.  Yesterday they were at the zoo:

And on top of all of the great things I've heard about Vova, I've heard nothing but positives about his friend Bogdon, as well.  So please remember to keep both boys in your prayers.  I can only imagine that as they fly back to Ukraine, they have quite a few things to process:  their experience here, living with a few different families, etc.  Both boys would like to come back over Christmas for winter hosting... please pass their information along if you know anyone interested in adopting older children.  The winter trip could potentially place them with their forever families.

And, thank you, everyone who has been keeping up with Vlad (Vova) updates.  I was really impressed with the number of people praying for him, those sharing his information, and those that wanted to give financially.  So I'd really like to thank you all.  I'd like to think we're all advocating for Vlad together--so thank you for making me feel like I'm just one of a group of people who really care about this boy.

Bathroom Run

I was going to write about this right after it happened, but I forgot.  Whenever I have something noteworthy, I seem to forget.  But Yipit is doing a contest and looking for "photos of you using Yipit deals".  And while I don't have a photo of this event, I was reminded of the story.

I purchased two tickets for Matt and I to go to an improv show in Phoenix through Yipit.  So date night comes around and we decide to use them.  We went to an improv show in Mesa earlier this year that was stellar.  This was a different theater with more showings and multiple improv groups coming and going so we expected a pretty large facility.  (Compared to the other improv place which was a room, walls all painted black, and seating for maybe 60 people.)

So we went out to dinner.  But there was an issue with our dessert and it took forever and we ended up having to take it to go to get out of there and make it to our improv show.  And then, though I had been given directions on the phone, we drove back and forth on the street where the improv theater was supposed to be four times, before we found it.

By the time we park, it's past showtime.  And Matt informs me he needs to use the restroom.  Which is fine, because I could go too.  But more than that... Matt needs to use the restroom.  So we slip inside, greet the girl waiting by the door, and ask where the restroom is.  She points forward down the hallway that's right in front of us.  So we head down toward the restroom.  And discover the hallway is "backstage".

Meaning... la di da di di... walking down hallway, doorway to the left... ah!  ah!  those are the performers and that's the stage right there!  right there on our left!  Hurry, hurry!  Don't let anybody see us!  So I'm pressing myself against the far wall and we're sliding past as quickly as we can, shooting silent looks at one another that scream our discomfort.  Immediately after "stage left" is another door on the left:  the bathroom.  And Matt's fumbling with the door and I'm pushing myself into the bathroom right behind him.

So we get inside, giggling in discomfort, whispering about our situation.  The bathroom shares a wall with the stage.  The stage is only occupied by improv performers and, therefore, is sometimes silent.  And Matt needs to go to the bathroom.  So he's apologizing, but he just had to claim the toilet.  And as the smell begins to build, I contemplate pulling a Melissa McCarthy and using the sink (probably would NEVER do this) and Matt tells me to go ahead, but I point out how completely not structurally sound the sink is.  (Because all you need to do is break a sink off a wall in an improv theater behind the stage where the performers are performing.)

So he's done.  And we're too scared to flush the toilet so I quickly go and we wait for a round of laughter to flush the toilet.  And while shushing each other we squeeze ourselves out of the bathroom and push ourselves against the wall, sliding by the ensuing performance.  We make our way back to the front and enter the improv show late.  And it's a tiny room, all painted black, with seating for maybe 30 people.  And as we watch the remainder of the performance, I can't help but wonder if the actors are smelling anything.

(Forgive my verb tense changes--I don't want to go back and fix anything.)

Francis, our Spiderer

Our biggest pest since becoming Arizona homeowners have been these guys. Not that we get a lot of pests, but we see at least 5 of these guys a year (IN our house)! So tonight I'm walking across the floor and I see something move out of the corner of my eye and I quickly dance/jump/tiptoe forward. Looking back, I think I ran from nothing... but then I glimpse it.

Though they blend into the carpet a little too well, I see the guy.  But I don't really know what to do about it--because Matt already went to bed and I HATE squashing anything, let alone things of a decent squashing-size.  (Matt asks me what I would do if I were single, but the fact is, I'm not single anymore so now I'm handicapped as to performing my own giant-creature squashing.)  So Matt's in bed, but luckily, we have a dog now.  And what's a pet for, if not to kill the creepy-crawlies that make it into your house?

So I get Francis and try to direct her to the spider--at this point it's under a desk in the corner.  First Francis, of course, has eyes only for me.  But eventually I get her to look over long enough while the spider moves or makes a smell or does something to finally get her notice.  And then she can barely see the thing.  So my dog is not the most excellent spider-er.  (But she's learning!)

For the first few minutes, I have to point the spider out to her over and over or use the water bottler I'm holding to coerce it her way.  After a bit, it starts crawling between the stones at the base of our fireplace, and I watch and listen as Francis tries to sniff it out.  She snaps between the stones here and there, but comes back with nothing.

More minutes go by and now we're back to the corner.  Francis continues to sniff and snap at it, but I guess the spider is holding its own.  And then her jaws close and she's leaving the corner!  She carries the spider across the room, jumps onto the couch and sets it down on the pad.  The spider starts to scamper away and she snaps it up again.  And at this point I feel a little guilty, because I think the spider bites her in the mouth.  :(  Hopefully that won't amount to anything.

So she's playing with the spider on the couch now and it's continuing to live.  So I hope it's debilitated enough not to crawl back out of the vacuum cleaner and, yes, go get the vacuum.  So I vacuum up the spider.  And though Francis watches me do it, she isn't sure where the spider went and spends the next five minutes sniffing around for it.  But... hopefully... she has the scent now and will be on guard as our resident spiderer.

Vlad is hosted!

I have a wonderful update!  I received an email this morning that there is a family that wants to host Vlad.  They're actually an adoptive family and so they already have a home study and are ready to go.  Praise the Lord!  So awesome!

It caught me off-guard a little, receiving that email.  With the deadline fast approaching, I really thought we would be hosting Vlad this summer.  We were given the option to put him "on hold" to be hosted by us or to leave donations up as a grant for other families that might want to host.  Matt and I decided to do the latter, because we're not exactly in teenager-mode yet here and so we wanted to leave it open in case another family came forward.  If God was going to have us host Vlad, then we knew in the end we'd be hosting Vlad.

It's been a pretty incredible week and a half for me.  Feeling so called to Vlad.  Being completely open now, we had actually thought there was a good chance we could end up adopting him.  If this summer had ended up being a good fit, how could we not?  And what a step that was, to even embrace that option mentally.  These aren't the things you plan.  But they're the things God sometimes does--or commands you to do.

So I had to unravel these tentative mental "plans" after receiving this morning's email.  You know, when you're preparing yourself for an outcome and then realize it has changed.  But it's so good!  I'm so excited for Vlad!  And I pray this family just might be his family or that he might just meet his family or that regardless, he have a really great summer, and that he knows how very valuable he is.

So thank you all for the many prayers and also to those that gave!  I'm going to leave the ChipIn open for just a little longer and anything else that comes in will go toward a grant for this 12 and 13 year old sister and brother.  This is the third year that they are available for hosting, but they have not yet been chosen.  Also, this year all of the other kids from their orphanage that are available for hosting already have families.  So please join me in praying for them.

Let me Paint for you!

Had a good Friday and Saturday of earning a bit of extra $.  Successful garage sale Friday morning--thank you to the friends that said I HAD to start it at 7:00 instead of 8:00--you were right.  And I only had one haggler that wanted to tell me over and over how many stains were on my baby clothes before wheeling and dealing with me.  ;)

Did some soliciting yesterday and today.  ;)  Well, not exactly, but sort of.  Stood outside of a store and interviewed shoppers on their experience.  I was hired to be there, but it sure felt like soliciting.  ;)

So that adds to the Vlad fund.  Along with new donations--thank you, everyone!

Remember, if you're around Arizona, you can get an amazing photo shoot with LaurenJean Photography for a $100 donation.

And... I got another idea last night.  I was driving home from "soliciting" and the sunset was beautiful.  Which, of course, made me think of Microsoft Paint in all of its 1995 glory.  And so... for each $20 donation, I would love to Paint something amazing for you.  Your request and I will Paint it as Paint-awesome as possible.  Please take me up on this, friends!  :D

For Vlad: A LaurenJean Photography Fundraiser

LaurenJean Photography has volunteered to do a fundraiser to help us host Vlad this summer!  So amazing!  Here are the details:

If you donate at least $100 through the ChipIn link below by the end of the day on June 6, you will receive a mini-session from LaurenJean Photography.  This includes a 20 minute session at either the Scottsdale Civic Center or downtown Mesa and 10-15 photos on a disc for you to use how you will.  Sessions have to be scheduled and used before the end of August.  After donating, you can email laurenjeanphotography@gmail.com to arrange your session.

So thankful to Lauren for wanting to do this for us!  And just to give you a taste of her mad skills (though Blogger doesn't do them justice):
  

Thank you!

On My Heart: Vlad. Part 2.

So I feel very very inadequate.  And I feel like there have to be a lot of people thinking, "What does she think she's doing?  She's not that great.  Definitely not enough to provide a good home for 15 year old for awhile.  He's just going to be bored.  Why does she think she's this great person who can do such a thing?"

And I suppose it's me that feels that way.  I hope that's just the enemy talking.  Telling myself it is.  I cannot believe how heavy Vlad is on my heart.  I feel like I've looked at his picture enough that I'm completely desensitized to it.  As though it's the picture of a boy I saw in a magazine once or something.  But the only thing becoming desensitized can do is make me forget about him.

And I do feel so crazily inadequate.  And I do feel like a fraud for taking this on.  Because I am not that great.  I mean, really, I'm just me.  Nothing extraordinary happening here.  And it's so tempting to put the whole thing off and let deadlines go by.  Though I am not sure if my heart would let me forget.  And my mind is reminding me that even if I am inadequate, the other option is that nothing happens.  Nothing changes for Vlad.  And what kind of an alternative is that?

So I just made an account on ChipIn to track donations for Vlad.  I linked the Paypal account so that it goes directly to Children's Cultural Connection.  Remember that any donations are 100% tax deductible.

I've already had a few friends tell me that they would like to donate--thank you!  And another friend is putting together a really cool fundraiser for my Arizonians--thank you!  Remember that no gift is too small.  And no prayer is too small.  Thank you to everyone that has been praying for Vlad.  Thank you so much.

On My Heart: Vlad

I've read about programs to host orphaned kids before.  Sort of assumed we would do so when our kids were older and we could host someone close in age to them.  So I was reading one of my favorite blogs the other day, from a woman whose heart has very much been for the orphan, and she featured a few hosting programs.  So I looked through the kids' photos and read their information.

And then I read about Vlad:  "Has no brothers or sisters. Brother adopted to Ireland in 2007. Irish couple only wanted 4 year old brother. Vlad was only 10 at the time--signed all paperwork granting separation and after that--he is still here."

So for five years--and typing this my heart breaks--for five years, he has just been alone at the orphanage.  I imagine a 10 year old boy that thought a different family would be coming for him... and still he waits.  

And so I have prayed.  And prayed.  And prayed for Vlad these last six days.  And my heart is so full for him.  Perhaps I am scared to forget.  He is real boy on the other side of the world, not just a photo I happened across.  And I imagine myself in his position.  (And I know, his is not completely unique--there are plenty of children out there that need their own families.)  But I imagine if I was an orphan, that oh, I would pray to not be forgotten.

Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?
                                  -James 2:15-16

And so I have been torn over the correct course of action.  I have waited to see if perhaps a better-fitting family might appear.  But all the while, we have also been willing to host him.  Most of my hesitancy is that I want to see the very best for him and I was really hoping God would just show that and provide it.  But perhaps that is what this weight on my heart has been.

So Matt and I are stepping out to ask you all if you would want to donate to helping us host Vlad for the summer.  The cost to host a child is $2500, which includes plane tickets, visas, insurance, etc.  For us, we would need an additional $1000 for airfare because the closest airports they are bringing kids are San Francisco and Chicago.  And in our case, Vlad would begin his time with us in Nebraska with our extended family and then finish his time with us at our home in Arizona.  (We'll actually need a little more than this to get background checks and a mini-homestudy finished, but I don't know how much those will be yet.)

So what we would need to host Vlad is approximately $3500.  We have already offered a grant of $600 to anyone interested in hosting him, but this is all we can do right now.  So what we are asking from you are donations that will hopefully reach $2900.  Please pray and do what is on your hearts--even if that is simply prayer and more prayer.  If you would like to give financially, please post it below or message or email me.  And if we get enough feedback that we believe we can move forward, we will.  Otherwise, I will continue to pray that that "perfect" (*wink*) family comes forward to host him.

And if you would like to offer more of a scholarship for Vlad, regardless of who might host him, you can do so at this link.  All donations are tax-deductible.  If you do donate directly, please email Ginger (same email as the Paypal account) and let her know where you would like your donation to go.

Phew--deep breath--love you all.


-Shilo

http://www.wix.com/hostukraine/ccc
   

Trip to the Vet

Francis had a free appointment with a veterinarian today because it was within ten days of her adoption.  I took Titus and Kali, because I thought it would be a good learning experience.

*pause*

Not so much.

Titus ran back and forth through the lobby screaming when I wouldn't let him hold Francis' leash anymore.  Screaming.  He was given a coloring book and pen.  In the exam room, he threw the pen in the garbage and started hitting the dog with the coloring book--while the veterinarian was examining her.  Then thought it was funny to tell us that Francis is mean to him (his reason for hitting her) which is not true.  He also grabbed Kali's face and made her cry.  And grabbed the canine rectal temp lubricant off the counter, getting his fingers in it.  And threw more fits over not getting to hold Francis' leash.  And last but not least, knocked his sister down and stood on her as I was signing paperwork at the end.  *sigh*

Oh, wait!  Remembered one more:  got mad in the car and ripped his coloring book down the middle with his teeth.  Oh, yes.  He got in trouble when we got home.  In fact, he is napping right now.

And as for the vet visit:  I knew that though the exam was free, there could be fees for things.  Didn't think there would be any, because she's a healthy young dog and I thought the animal shelter had already given her all of her vaccines.  Well, she was missing one.  And they're going to run an analysis for parasites with her poop and check her for heartworms and we have heartworm medication for the year... and so forth.  Most of the time, I try to play it cool when something is really expensive (as if I don't think it is), but in this case, I was just like, "This is a lot."

But okay, so now we're done with her shots for the year.

**Oh no, there's more!

As I'm leaving, I find out we're supposed to bring her back in one week for a follow-up vaccine and in two weeks for another shot.  The latter is a courtesy visit and I don't have to actually pay the exam fee.

Wait a second... that means I'm supposed to pay a $53 exam fee for her to be seen next week when they just saw her today?!?!

So I asked the tech about this.  Twice.  And her explanation is that it's just like your pediatric visits for your kids to get their vaccines.  But Francis isn't my kid.  She's my dog.  And I love her very much, but she is a dog.

And that, my friends, is the city veterinary experience.

Gonna Buy Me a Dog

So I started thinking that maybe it would be okay for us to get a dog.  I knew we wanted to eventually for the kids and I saw a Craigslist ad for volunteers for dogs on euthanasia lists and I started thinking that maybe we'd be okay with a dog now.  So on Sunday, Titus and Kali and I went to West Maricopa County Animal Care & Control to look around.

I was really nervous about the whole thing, though, as some of you know.  I grew up with lots of pets, but it's been over 10 years now since I have had one and the thought sounded daunting.  And like a big responsibility.

So we went to the shelter and I know this will sound cheesy, but it was the very first dog, in the very first window.  She looked like she would be scared of us and instead she walked right over to the window and put her paws up on the glass.  And she really caught my attention.  So I kept her in mind.  Other dogs reacted in a variety of ways, some of them freaked out at the mere sight of our kids, but in the end, the one that made the impression was the very first dog.  So we visited with her in a meet & greet room and she was really good (and tolerant!) of the kids and their craziness.

But they were closing soon and I am not good with big decisions (or change, for the matter) and decided we go home and talk about it more.  The boy working there gave us her photo to take home:

But she looks crazy in that photo and I don't think it's really how she looks so we took our own too:

So then we thought about it and I had errands to run "up north" today (greater Phoenix area) and we decided that I would pick her up today if she was still there.  But my mind had seriously been thinking about nothing but whether or not to get a dog all of these last days.  So last night I bought a bunch of doggie things in preparation and that made me feel a little better and I was getting a little excited about it.

So after driving all around in Matt's loud, ghetto, no A/C car today (Chandler to Gilbert to Tempe--up by the airport--to Phoenix) and back-tracking a bunch by trying to take downtown Phoenix freeways instead of just driving down Washington the whole way, I got there.  And she was there.  So then I'm there, and I'm there to pick her up, so I get her.  But as I'm filling out paperwork, I have the impulse to back out, change my mind, and run out of there.  ;)  But I let it go and I follow through.

Take her to the car and put her in her crate and she wimpers.  So I take her out to see if she'll ride nicely in the car, but she only wants to sit in my lap.  So it's back to the crate.  And this dog, who has been silent up until now, squeals these high-pitch screeches off-and-on.  (She was fine--she did really well as long as I talked with her, but we had a 50 minute drive in front of us.)  And I only talked to her when she was quiet, because I didn't want to encourage those noises.  But if Matt has trouble ignoring crying kids in the car, this would have driven him crazy.  ;)  And she was fine.  Just wanted to get my attention.

At one point, she was making these crazy noises and I glanced back to see she had pressed her face between the bars.  Almost had me convinced she had gotten her face stuck, but I was pretty sure that wasn't the case.  And it wasn't.  I caught this picture as I drove, because she looked ridiculous.

Also, I should mention that our dog always looks sad.  They think she's a Puguahua (not that they had the coolness to actually write that on her sheet).  But she was listed as Chihuahua and Pug and she really has some Pug-like facial feature and they really make her look sad all of the time.  So I just wanted to mention that as a disclaimer.

I stopped to pick up lunch for myself on the way and opened the door of the crate to see if she wanted a drink of water.  And she wiggled her way out and I let it go.  But she would only sit on my lap so I asked her to try not to get in the way of my driving.  But halfway home she moved to the sleeping bag wedged behind me and the seat.  (Another part of Matt's ghetto car--can't adjust the seat and I can't reach the pedals so I have to drive around with something wedged behind me and the clamshell of the seat partially closed.)  So she sat perched behind me like I was a pirate and she was my bird and we drove home.

Got home right before nap time for the kids.  They were so excited to see their puppy.  They had been talking about her all day.  By the way, this whole time the plan was to try this out and possibly take her back and consider our adoption fee a donation to Animal Care & Control.  So I'm still thinking this the whole time because I'm terrified of the new commitment.  So I'm home and now there's a dog in my house.

And I think, "There's a dog in my house.  What have I done?"  And my impulse is to undo it.

And my kids are crazy just exactly as I remember being over these type of things as a kid.  And I totally sympathize with my parents.  So they're trying to make her go into her crate.  And Titus is carrying it around to move it to wherever she goes.  And they're climbing in it.  And then they want to keep their stuff in it.  And Ella is splashing in the dog's water.  And it is chaos and I want to lose it.  And I'm freaked out that I just brought a dog home.

So we start the process to get the kids in bed and new doggy follows me from room to room as we get them put down.  And after the kids are in bed and it's more or less quiet and calm, I realize how freakishly easy she is.  She's quiet and calm and follows me around and I know she sheds, but I haven't noticed as an issue yet.  And for the first time, I start thinking, "Wow.  I think we have a dog."  And haha, getting a dog for the family really just means that Mommy got a dog.  Because she follows me around and hops in my lap whenever I sit down, but I'm working on making sure she isn't too attached to me.

Also, I keep having to remind myself that Ella is a human baby.  She has little human limbs and is a mini-me and not just another family pet.  :)  Because I'm surprised by how seemingly similar they are.  And I find myself saying the same exact things both to our new dog and to Ella.  ;)  Probably our new canine pet is the better behaved.  Ella's new thing is to throw fits during diaper changes and try to get away and I sure haven't had that problem with Francis yet.  ;)  Oooo, did you catch that?  I said Francis.

So we had also been talking about names for her.  And anytime I asked the kids, they wanted to name her either "Puppy" or "Little Puppy".  And Matt was fine with that, but I really didn't want to name her Puppy.  So we've been talking about girls' names all day and even tonight when I was asking Titus he would think a long time and still only come up with "Puppy".  And I've said a bunch of girls' names out loud and the kids always said "no".

So I was thinking of actresses to get name ideas and I thought of Francis O'Connor and said Francis out loud.  (Right after I think I had just got it through Kali's head that we don't call Kali "Girl" and we have named her instead so we should name the dog.)  And she was all over Francis.  And even left the room and said, "Come on, Francis."  So Francis it is.  :)

Who Kali thinks we named the dog after:

Who we actually named the dog after:

**I should also mention that we are still in our trial period and I don't know for sure if this will work out, but it's definitely looking good right now.

Out with my man, looking like a girl.

Today is my birthday and I was getting ready for my date with Matt this afternoon.  I changed my clothes and ran downstairs to grab something.  Titus, sitting on the couch, said in a loud, drawn-out voice, "Oh--you  got  new  clothes?"

If only you could have heard the wonder in his voice.  That my 3 year old would notice such a difference in my clothing.  His voice and his staring urged me to ask, "What?  Do you think I look pretty?"

A short silence and then, in his drawn-out way, "You  look  like  a  girl."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you know you're a mom:  when your toddler notices when you quote-unquote "look like a girl".  And I was just wearing jeans and a pretty shirt.

Offended.

Oh, how easy is it to be offended?  And if we're honest, if we slow the wounded bus down a bit and really think about it, how often did the other person probably mean something innocent?  Or at the very least, did not mean to offend you?

I know it's especially hard online.  You can't see faces, hear inflections, etc.  I've had tiny things online bother me and  it  is  so  silly.  I've been praying that God help me to not be offended so easily.  Hopefully with time, I can manage my emotions better.  Because it is one thing when your mind understands that the person did not really mean to offend you.  But going farther, I want my heart to actually accept it and forget.

What an easy sin.  I think I can call it a sin?  Definitely a product of our fallen nature.  In a perfect world, we would all say the perfect things and we would all be pure.  But we don't live in a perfect world... and I think the desire for this sort of perfection in interaction leads to the desire for political correctness.  But once again, we're fallen.  Not everyone's PC is the same PC.

And the mass email/quip/forward/joke/message that someone sent out--they didn't think twice about it.  They read it at face value, it didn't throw off any alarms when filtered through their own personal experiences, and they sent it on.  So when it reaches you, and you're hit with the emotion of whatever personal experience it dredges up for you, try to remember that it was not sent out of maliciousness.  It was not intended to hurt you.  Try to be objective.  Take those extra moments to hold the wounded bus back a stop.  Address it if you need to--and address it with LOVE.

And the comments you receive on some post that you don't fully understand or sound hurtful or rub you the wrong way or simply don't agree with you?  Stop.  Think.  Ask.  And make sure that you act in LOVE.

This whole offended thing is simply too easy.  And can I dare say that it's easy because it's selfish?  And what do each of us know better and come to the defense of more than our own selves?  I wish I wasn't so selfish.  I wish I didn't care about me nearly as much as I do.  I wish I was concerned with myself a fraction of what I am.

So my goal for the immediate future is to take on offendedness.  (Yeah, I used my understanding of English to make that a word.)  Offendedness, I am going to fight you.

Ordering Online

Received an email from Sears about a big online clearance sale.
Ordered some clothes.
Received the items I ordered and one item that I did not order instead of one that I did.
(I received a gray sporty tank top instead of a black beaded tank top.)
I contacted customer service via online chat.
He told me to go to a store and exchange it for the top I wanted.
I asked if he could check if any of the stores close to me carried that top.
He looked and none of them did.
(Maybe should have looked before blindly telling me to drive to my local Sears.)
So he told me I could order it online again instead and drive to Sears to return the mix-up top.
So I ordered the black beaded cami again.
The same gray "shelf bra" (as it is labeled) arrived a second time.
I called customer service.
She was very nice; we chatted a bit.
Ultimately she told me that I could keep the top.  (Well, both tops.)
Wait... you mean keep the two shirts I paid for because I paid for them even though I didn't want them?
Yep.
Or... I can drive on down to Sears and return them.
And she left me with this ominous warning about items that say "while quantities last" and implied that I should know better than to necessarily expect to receive the right item if it says that.
But as far as online shopping (or any shopping goes), that's sort of how I roll.
And I've never before run into this fine (imaginary) print that reads:

While Quantities Last:
We may or may not have this product (regardless if it's only listed in one size or color making you think our website updates product availability).  We may substitute this item with another item and hope that you don't notice.  Or secretly we want you to like your replacement item even more than the item you actually wanted, because then we feel extraordinary deep down inside (and get rid of more of our extra merchandise).  But if all else fails, our mistake will get you to drive down to our store--we know that ordering online in no way displays a lack of desire to drive down to our store--and we all know what happens when you drive down to our store... sometimes you buy more.

Adoption: Oh My Heart

Children.  I want to write about having children.  But where to begin these thoughts?  I want to adopt.  Why do I want to adopt?  Because there are kids that don't have families.  And we have a family.  It's a really easy need that we can fill.  Because every person should have their own family, should feel loved and cherished, valued and respected.

Anyhow, we have three kids.  Ages 3, 2, 1.  Number one was a bit of a surprise.  Number two was the most planned.  Number three was a HUGE surprise.

While discussing trusting God with if/when you will have children, I once heard someone compare not using birth control to driving in your car without your seat belt.  Not a great example.  As though not putting yourself in direct control of when you have children is irresponsible.  But God created us to have children.  Literally.  It is set up biologically and kind of does its own thing.  That's what sex does.  And the many, many, many years of sex before readily available birth control, does not show irresponsibility on behalf of all of those many, many, many parents.

 

So then I got married.  And then we found out that we're a really fertile couple.  I was pregnant each year for our first three years of marriage.  I recently had my one-year-of-being-not-pregnant anniversary and it's been really nice.  I'm very thankful that I was able to be to pregnant and to carry our three children, and I'm very thankful for every one of them.  But I'd really like to move forward now, not have another baby and start over again at ground zero.  And the truth is that if we would like to have more children, there are so many children that need a family.

Oh, adoption.  I began to contemplate it when the boy that was flirting with me on the way to a youth retreat back when I was 17 said that he wanted to adopt someday.  Until that point, I had assumed it would be too hard emotionally and did not think I would ever want to adopt.  So then I stopped and considered it.  And have considered it, I suppose, for the last 10 years.  And my heart has grown and grown and grown and grown toward adoption.  And I knew, long before I was married, that I wanted to adopt someday.

Oh, I feel this post is so jumbled, but there is so much feeling in my chest and so many thoughts I'm trying to get down.  This seems very disorganized though I know what I'm thinking... Anyhow, how to tie this in?  Americans.  Me.  We want to control everything.  Some couples wait and wait to have their first child until they have everything else just how they want it.  Some couples never have children, because that perfect place never comes.  To some degree, I feel like children are a plunge.  Into _________.  You simply know things are never going to be the same.

So our biological children are either planned or surprised upon us.  And I feel like adopted children should be a little bit the same.  I have three children within three years of one another.  Things are never going to feel perfect to throw more into the mix.  ;)  Or well, maybe they will.  (But we get into all of these other variables... how old the children are when we adopt them, how close in age they are to our children, etc.  I know, I know, I can't get away from the "control".)  I'm just trying to say that there's this pressure that comes with adoption that is different than with biological children.

First, there is the thought that you have to be incredible if you're going to raise another couple's child.  A friend of mine told me that sometimes when she thinks about adoption, she feels inadequate or not special enough to adopt.  And I understand that feeling.  I am not supermom or some all-star mom.  I feel like I'm just a decent mother.  I love my kids.  I'm going to make sure they have a roof over their heads and food on the table.  But ultimately this idea makes it sound like we're sticking it to our own kids in that they just happened to be born to us, but we would leave other children with no family because we don't think we're perfect enough for them?

And so then we get to the other perfection:  the perfect time, the perfect amount of security and composure in our lives before we can consider adoption.  But what of all of the couples that have a surprise biological baby?  You step up and you make it work.  I'm not saying adoption should be something you don't prepare for.  I'm not saying you should just jump into it with no thought or preparation or at some crazy time in your life.  But if you have the ability to work at and provide whatever your adopted child might possibly need, then maybe just take that plunge into it rather than waiting and waiting for perfect circumstances.

So things are pretty great right now for us.  We have three perfect kids and it's wonderful.  You know, if I had gotten pregnant again right after Ella, I'd be about to deliver right now.  And I'm so glad I'm not.  I don't want another newborn.  I'm in the stage right now where I can't just run around the playground with Titus and Kali, because I have to make sure little oblivious Ella isn't wandering into the road or somewhere she shouldn't be.  But by the end of this year, I should be out of that stage and running around with my three toddlers at the playground, knowing that they all know (and won't) wander into the street or down a hill they can't manage.  So I'm so glad that we're not starting over for the fourth time right now.

That said, I would like to adopt.  Not because I love kids.  I don't--I'm not some hardcore baby-person.  Not because I'm this incredible mom.  I'm not--but I try my best and I'm growing.  I would like to adopt because I am blessed.  I just happen to live in the United States where we have so much.  I know Christ as my Savior and Lord.  I have an incredible husband who is very talented and has a good job.  And when I think of a child that needs a home, I can't help but think, "We have a home.  And we have more love to share.  We have enough love to have more children."

Would having more kids be hard?  Yes.  Definitely.  Would the process itself be hard?  Oh, for sure.  And I go back to that idea that it's so presumptuous of me to think we're good enough to go through all of this work to take another couple's child to raise in our home.  It makes me so nervous.  Because I am nothing special.  But I also feel like at some point that plunge needs to taken.  We would love and cherish and provide for another surprise baby if I found out today that I was pregnant.  And I know that we can love and cherish and provide for another baby even if they are from another country and we worked and worked and worked to get them in a different way rather than having them plunked in our lap in a labor & delivery room.

Yes, the argument is, with one you got pregnant and had to have them, with the other there is a choice.  But what choice is there when there is a baby without a home and   you   have   a   home?

Punishment

At the dinner table (this was a few days ago), Titus disobeyed me.
(I told him not to stick his hand in his glass of milk and he did it anyway.)
Anyhow, he just flat-out went against what I said.
So I asked Matt to step in.
Matt went over and crouched beside Titus
and actually asked him what he should do.
I waited, wondering what Titus would say.
Matt thought Titus would say "a little spanking" or something like that.
Titus was quiet for a moment and then quietly
(and very seriously) said, "Tickle me."
Matt and I looked at each other.
And then because we were looking at each other
we couldn't hold it anymore and we laughed.
Titus smiled, because we were laughing.
Matt said "okay" and tickled Titus.
Titus, very seriously, said, "Ouch."
Matt told him that would only work one time.

I still don't know if Titus really thought that was a viable punishment.
I kind of think that he did.
Hahaha, son.

Blog Purpose Update

So I just reread my "Blog Purpose" post from June and thought I should update on how much has changed.  The giant laundry pile in our room went away a long time ago.  Yay that we finally got that folded, sorted, and put away.  Also... everyone's laundry gets folded now.  One of our MOPS speakers shared the tip that she doesn't allow herself to do laundry until she has folded the stuff in the dryer and that has really worked for me.  I often fold two loads together, but no crazy pile of clean clothes has been building.  I can't believe how easy it is to fold just one load of laundry!  I seriously must have been folding about 10 at a time before.

As for meals... some lovely Maricopa girls started a group called the "Maricopa Dinner Club".  There are four of us and we rotate providing meals for all of our families each week.  For instance, I am signed up for Thursday next week, so on Thursday I will make four family meals (one is for my family) and spend about an hour delivering them around 6 o'clock.  But what's really awesome is we will get meals delivered to us three other nights next week.  We've been doing this for about 5 weeks now and really enjoying it.

And we're good.  I'm looking forward to doing more preschool-like activities with them.  It's a little hard right now, because Ella has just grown out of that baby-stage where she's obliviously content.  I mean, she's still just a really content little girl, but it will be fun when she's a little older and they can do activities together without Ella sort of being left out.  She wants to do whatever they do--she just can't quite yet.

Also, we might move back to Nebraska.  Maybe... dun dun dun.