VBS - Take One

Look for "VBS - Take Two" coming Summer 2015.

I took the kids to VBS tonight at a church near our house.  The plan was to stay at VBS so that I could help Caleb participate in activities.

Each of the children was in a different one of the five small groups--about 6 kids in each group.  Pertinent to this story is:  I don't think any of the small group leaders had a list of the children in their group.  I couldn't remember which group Caleb was in, but during the opening presentation when everyone was together, the leader named who was where and Caleb was in the green group.

The green group's leader was a teenage girl and as everyone was leaving to go to the first activity, I, pushing Caleb's wheelchair, got up to her and said, "I think Caleb's in your group."  She glanced down at him as she continued walking and said, "Umm, no, I don't think so."

So I continued to follow her group and we began in the game room.  The game was like musical chairs, but with paper plates on the floor.  The kids ran in a circle around them and you had to stand at a plate when the music stopped.  So there I am running Caleb around this circle and he's laughing and excited and enjoying it.  But we're eliminated first.

Caleb and I move off to the side to watch the other kids and while we're there, I think to myself that this teenage girl isn't going to do a very good job incorporating him into activities and that the other group none of our other kiddos is in had an older lady leading it and she'd probably be more sensitive to him and I decide to go there.

So we go to a different room where the blue group is.  In this room, all of the kids are at a table in the middle and the leader is off to the side at her own table.  The activities are being led by two teenage girls.  During the first activity, all of the kids are lined up into a line where they place their thumb on an ink pad and then mark on a poster board their thumb print.  I push Caleb over and we're in the back of the line.  After the last kid in front of us goes, the girl closes the stamp pad.  So then I say something/she sees our intention and she opens it back up.  I help Caleb stamp his thumb, but then he's just barely too short in his wheelchair to reach the board.  Awkward.  So I kind of wipe the ink of his thumb onto mine and I stamp it.

Next the kids crouched down on the floor on their knees and then stood up (I can't remember why), but by the time I got Caleb unbuckled, it was the stand up part.  So he stood for a moment.

The next activity was to make Gak.  The girls asked if Caleb wanted to be grouped up with someone.  Caleb made an even number of kids so I said, yes.  Now I should say, that every single kid we've seen up to this point seems slightly uncomfortable with Caleb's presence.  The little girl across the table from him (his partner) is no exception.  So as the girls get the supplies ready and start to explain the measurements to the kids, I know that this is something Caleb won't really be able to do, so I tell them that I think I'm going to take him to the preschool group.

Except I already know that the preschool group is mostly just making everyone's snacks tonight.  Something else that Caleb can't do.

So I go to the kitchen and join Ella's group, which consists only of Ella because some other kids hadn't arrived yet.  They were just finishing making parfaits and she was having a great time.  One of the ladies asked me if Caleb would like to help and when I said he couldn't, she said that he'd probably enjoy watching.  And I explained that after spending most of the years of his life confined to a crib, he doesn't really have the patience for just watching things yet.  I said that he might next year.  (He spent so many years neglected that downtime brings on his self-stimulation behaviors.)

Then I spoke with Ella's group leader and the rest of their activities for the night included watching a video, coloring, and doing crafts, more things that would be difficult for Caleb.  I would have helped him with the craft, but there was still at least an hour before it would be time for that.

There were almost two more hours of VBS left so I decided to take him home.  And I was sad.  I do plan on trying again tomorrow, though, and staying with Ella's group.  We'll see how it goes.

It was just hard.  And there's no great answer.

EDIT - The rest of the week went really well.  I was going to write about it, but maybe that's all anyone cares about.  The rest of the week went well.  And there were a lot (a lot) of supportive people at the church.

Moral of the story is:  Try.  And try again.

A Happy Happy Blog Post

Okay, it's also an emotional blog post.  I share this with tears in my eyes.

First, check out this blog post.  *Click me!*  *Click me!*

Picture that "Stellan"'s Reece's Rainbow profile has jumped off the page at me and I can't get this little boy off my mind and I think to google him--who knows why I thought to do that?--and I find this blog post (through a link from another blog!) and it is the information given by this momma (and the prayers collected by this momma) that directly influenced our decision to adopt Caleb ("Stellan").

Looking at those photos now, it's hard to believe that's our little boy.

And on to the tears-in-my-eyes good news:

Janna's family has met her and soon Janna will be a part of a family!  You can read about it here.  *You know you want to click me.*  On our very last day at the orphanage, minutes from being on our way outta there for good, we were led across the hall and got to meet children in another laying room. (I had assumed Caleb's laying room was the only one and that perhaps Janna had been transferred.)  Guys, this little girl (this little girl that I had underestimated due to her photos and her special needs) this little girl was warm and sweet and so very present and so very desiring of touch and connection and I was blown away.  She held my eyes and reached up to hold my hand for as long as I was able and smiled such sweetness.  And I am so so so very happy for her.

Praise the Lord, everyone!  Join me in praise for one more little girl who's life is never going to be the same and who is about to experience such love as she's never experienced before.  I can't imagine how God's heart breaks, knowing the suffering of children (of people) all over the world.  But hallelujah that there is one less orphan in the world!

Almost 3 Months Home

Caleb is very easy to love.

He is sweet and happy and easy going.

He has already grown since coming home from the orphanage in that he is beginning to recognize that we are here for him--to love him, hold him, meet his needs.

A few weeks ago, the kids had been upstairs playing (Caleb crawls around and throws toys) and I headed upstairs to put them in bed.  As I neared the top, I looked over and saw Caleb laying in the loft, quietly crying.  Immediately I said, "Oh, Caleb!  What's the matter?!"  And relief washed over his face.  He knew that I was concerned about him.  He knew that I was going to take care of him.  And he was all happiness as I scooped him up and held him and then went to get him water.

We have definitely seen him grow in regard to us.  I have estimated, conservatively, that during his lifetime Caleb has had at least 35 caregivers.  During our 6 weeks visiting him alone, I saw perhaps 12 different nannies in his room.  In Ukraine, he was pretty indifferent to us and mostly just interested in the toys.

And now...

He occasionally gives me a kiss.  They're kind of open-mouthed, but I roll with it.

If you lay beside him, he likes to put a hand on your arm or your hand.  One night, he rolled over every so often while going to sleep to reach out make sure Matt was still there.  Just today, I curled up behind him with my hand on his side and he relaxed and fell asleep.

And though I've been meaning to write this post for a week or two, today he crawled to me for the first time when I said his name.  And I didn't have a toy or anything that I was luring him with.

Caleb is finally getting to be a little boy.  To have his own family.  To experience the world.  Here he is at a splash pad for the first time.  We had just arrived and fountain had just turned off.  Sorry, you do not get to see the fountain turn back on in the video, but you do get to see Caleb's anticipation of it.

(Turn the volume down--it's pretty loud.)