VBS - Take One

Look for "VBS - Take Two" coming Summer 2015.

I took the kids to VBS tonight at a church near our house.  The plan was to stay at VBS so that I could help Caleb participate in activities.

Each of the children was in a different one of the five small groups--about 6 kids in each group.  Pertinent to this story is:  I don't think any of the small group leaders had a list of the children in their group.  I couldn't remember which group Caleb was in, but during the opening presentation when everyone was together, the leader named who was where and Caleb was in the green group.

The green group's leader was a teenage girl and as everyone was leaving to go to the first activity, I, pushing Caleb's wheelchair, got up to her and said, "I think Caleb's in your group."  She glanced down at him as she continued walking and said, "Umm, no, I don't think so."

So I continued to follow her group and we began in the game room.  The game was like musical chairs, but with paper plates on the floor.  The kids ran in a circle around them and you had to stand at a plate when the music stopped.  So there I am running Caleb around this circle and he's laughing and excited and enjoying it.  But we're eliminated first.

Caleb and I move off to the side to watch the other kids and while we're there, I think to myself that this teenage girl isn't going to do a very good job incorporating him into activities and that the other group none of our other kiddos is in had an older lady leading it and she'd probably be more sensitive to him and I decide to go there.

So we go to a different room where the blue group is.  In this room, all of the kids are at a table in the middle and the leader is off to the side at her own table.  The activities are being led by two teenage girls.  During the first activity, all of the kids are lined up into a line where they place their thumb on an ink pad and then mark on a poster board their thumb print.  I push Caleb over and we're in the back of the line.  After the last kid in front of us goes, the girl closes the stamp pad.  So then I say something/she sees our intention and she opens it back up.  I help Caleb stamp his thumb, but then he's just barely too short in his wheelchair to reach the board.  Awkward.  So I kind of wipe the ink of his thumb onto mine and I stamp it.

Next the kids crouched down on the floor on their knees and then stood up (I can't remember why), but by the time I got Caleb unbuckled, it was the stand up part.  So he stood for a moment.

The next activity was to make Gak.  The girls asked if Caleb wanted to be grouped up with someone.  Caleb made an even number of kids so I said, yes.  Now I should say, that every single kid we've seen up to this point seems slightly uncomfortable with Caleb's presence.  The little girl across the table from him (his partner) is no exception.  So as the girls get the supplies ready and start to explain the measurements to the kids, I know that this is something Caleb won't really be able to do, so I tell them that I think I'm going to take him to the preschool group.

Except I already know that the preschool group is mostly just making everyone's snacks tonight.  Something else that Caleb can't do.

So I go to the kitchen and join Ella's group, which consists only of Ella because some other kids hadn't arrived yet.  They were just finishing making parfaits and she was having a great time.  One of the ladies asked me if Caleb would like to help and when I said he couldn't, she said that he'd probably enjoy watching.  And I explained that after spending most of the years of his life confined to a crib, he doesn't really have the patience for just watching things yet.  I said that he might next year.  (He spent so many years neglected that downtime brings on his self-stimulation behaviors.)

Then I spoke with Ella's group leader and the rest of their activities for the night included watching a video, coloring, and doing crafts, more things that would be difficult for Caleb.  I would have helped him with the craft, but there was still at least an hour before it would be time for that.

There were almost two more hours of VBS left so I decided to take him home.  And I was sad.  I do plan on trying again tomorrow, though, and staying with Ella's group.  We'll see how it goes.

It was just hard.  And there's no great answer.

EDIT - The rest of the week went really well.  I was going to write about it, but maybe that's all anyone cares about.  The rest of the week went well.  And there were a lot (a lot) of supportive people at the church.

Moral of the story is:  Try.  And try again.