Adoption: Where We Are

Well, I suppose I should say "where I am".  I haven't really talked with anyone about this apart from Matt.  The majority of the feelings have worn off.  Which is 100% normal for me and I assume 100% normal for everyone else too.  Well, that some feelings at some points wear off at least.

On the other hand, I read blog posts from working-on-it adoptive parents and they're so head-over-heels in love with these children that they haven't actually met yet and I cannot copy and paste their feelings.  I cannot apply their feelings to my feelings.  I'm rocking the commitment feelings at this point rather than the gushy feelings.

I'm at the I-have-complete-faith-in-my-God stage.  I don't feel what I felt when we began this process, but I am committed.  And I know that God directed us here.  I know that God loves this little boy so abundantly I can't even wrap my mind around it.  I know that I am going to love this little boy so much I can't even wrap my mind around it.

But right now, it's sort of scary.  It's a disability I don't have much experience with.  It's the unknown of how this is going to impact our family.  It's the unknown of what my relationship with him will look like, how we'll connect with one another, how the kids will all interact with one another.

Okay, so I'll be honest, just saw a new picture of him tonight which is incredible and darling.  (I'll attach it below.)  He looks like my son.  He looks like a little boy that needs me to scoop him up and wrap my arms around him forever.  It's lessened these recent doubts I'm writing about--sort of--this is hard to explain--I'm not actually talking about doubts--struggles?--the unknown?--I just wanted to write this out, because I read gushy thing after gushy thing and I should be honest that I'm not at gushy things stage.

But I am wholeheartedly in my Father's arms, trusting that He has such a plan for this little boy, and that He has commanded me to love him.

Seriously, friends, look at this little boy:

Update as to Where We Are in the Process:

Everything except our adoption education hours is done and submitted to our home study agency.  (Thank you to everyone who wrote a reference for us!)  We have three more education hours left and those should be finished by the end of the week.  It's going to take them approximately one month to write and edit our home study.  Then our home study will be submitted to Arizona and that should take approximately one month to clear.

As soon as that is done, we can submit our home study to USCIS (immigration) which should take approximately one month.  By the time we're submitting USCIS, I believe we'll have our dossier finished.  So assuming we are only waiting on USCIS approval in the end, we could have everything submitted to country in the following two weeks and be receiving a travel date 5-7 weeks after that.

Doesn't sound nearly as daunting as I thought when I first received the paperwork that we needed to do.

Please pray for the document regarding our home.  I have three different parties each willing to sign off on only a very limited piece of the description of our home and I'm really hoping our initial mortgage broker company will be able to just sign a concise document for us that covers everything.  Please just pray for all of these documents and that we wouldn't run into roadblocks, but that our whole process would move smoothly.

Thank you, everyone!