Day 5: Early Morning

The night train was an experience.  Our compartment was two bed/bench seats with a tiny table between the two.  I think we sort of have a ton of luggage compared to most RR families, but we were able to stow it all under our beds and the stroller was above the door.  When Matt leaves me, I plan to have one backpack, one carryon, and the stroller.  Should be easy enough to maneuver until you throw the actual child into the mix and consider that we'll be on and off a train and going places without ramps.  :)

So the night train got HOT.  I did okay, but the first half of the night, I probably slept/woke up 20-some times.  Matt was dying.  He slept on the floor to try to bear it.  In the middle of the night, he opened our door for a bit to try to air out the heat and then covered up our heater--I thought the temperature was a little nice, but like I said, he was dying.

We arrived to our region at about 6:45 this morning.  Our attorney and a driver met us at the train.  She took our paperwork and she is filing things for us so that we'll probably leave for the orphanage in about an hour from now.  (Like 10:00 am.)

Our apartment here is, once again, huge!  We heard that the other family, on their first night here, (because they've been here a week longer than us and just had to travel back to the capitol and back during the last few days) got stuck in a teensy teensy tiny little apartment that perhaps would have fit in our kitchen at our last one, because theirs hadn't been ready yet.  But anyhow, ours here is huge!

It reminds me of my friend Clesta's apartment that she had in Omaha.  The plastery walls, wood floors, and a faint age smell that is very similar.  In our apartment, you walk in and see the kitchen to the left with a pretty large bathroom off of it, and a hallway to the right, with our bedroom halfway down and a large living room with two chairs and a sofa at the end of the hall.  Honestly, it's too big compared to what we were expecting. We might see if the other couple wants to work out a group living situation to cut costs.  Matt was wondering if they have two bedroom apartment options here.

Also, our orphanage is on the outskirts of the main city here and public transportation isn't really an option. Especially with the cold.  So a driver is a little pricey to take us out and wait and take us back each day, but our driver has agreed to take all four of us each time so that we can share the costs.

And a dear friend of mine asked how I am.  First, I am cold.  Fine indoors.  Absolutely believe I could freeze to death at any moment outside.  And the amount of walking we've actually done outside is so very minimal.  When we got off the train this morning, I think it was somewhere around 22 degrees below zero F.

And now to the heart... why I signed on to write this now before we leave... I don't know.  Scared, I suppose.  Or not scared.  I really don't know.  I truly feel that God wants us here and wants this little boy out of the orphanage and into our family.  I really believe that the whole reason we ended up here has to do not so much with us, but with how much God loves loves loves Caleb and that He is faithful and is answering the prayers of many many people who prayed for this little boy.

So I really don't have any doubts that we're supposed to be here.  But it is a little scary--this is so left field and I don't know how meeting him is going to go.  I don't know how the attachment is going to build or going to differ.  I suppose the most difficult part is the knowledge that we are actually becoming parents to this child. What a giant responsibility and a choice that will change our lives forever.

I'm trying to get ready so that I look somewhat decent for the photos of this day.  Trying to undo my hat hair and get some makeup on.  Somehow my deodorant didn't get packed so I've been using men's deodorant, which I hate.  I was trying to decide whether or not to put more on since we've gotten off the train, but opted for not, only in that I'd rather have Caleb link me with my smell than with manly deodorant.  Probably this is going to be similar to any of our other birth pictures.  With Titus, I curled my hair after my water broke.  I think I probably put on some makeup.  And then within the last hour before it was time to actually have him, I got crazy sweaty, pulled all of my head back off my face like a crazy person wrapped it up in a pony tail holder and then puked into a towel Matt was holding.  So it's probably fitting that we just got off a train a few hours ago.  ;)