The Eight Month Nitty Gritty

Thought I'd share the nitty gritty with ya'll--there's a little more that goes on than just the adorable photos that make their way to Facebook.

when he lost his first front tooth

On the whole, Caleb is a happy easygoing little boy.  Developmentally, Caleb is most similar to an eight month old.  Since coming home, he has really grown into himself much more than he was able to do while sedated and isolated at his orphanage.  Since he has more freedom and is taking part in experiences, he doesn't have to fixate on individual toys like he used to.

Caleb has rough lumps on the backs of his hands from years of self-stimulating by biting himself.  He still bites the backs of his hands, but not as much as he used to.  The quirky things that Caleb does seem to change over time.  Currently he sometimes blows saliva bubbles that make little bubble beards.  (I don't know how he does it--he definitely has a special technique for it.)  He likes to lick his index fingers and then hold them in his ears.

He had a few days where he bit the fleshy part of his upper arm and ended up coming home from school with a giant gauze bandage after making himself bleed.  It turned into a large bruise with a scabbed over bite mark in the middle, but thankfully is almost healed and he has not done that again.

He also began exploring the sensation of gagging himself and making himself throw up recently.  This culminated into a voicemail from the school nurse about how we needed to come get our son because he had forced himself to throw up everything in his stomach and then proceeded to throw it around the room.  Oh. My. Word, is that not an acceptable activity for any child ever!  Thankfully, Caleb responds to the firm daddy voice and we seem to be done with the self-induced vomiting stage.

In August, we had a rough spell that is still too fresh in my mind.  Our typically happy son began to cry more and more until he cried for three days straight.  Doctors could not find anything wrong with him so they just kept telling us it was a behavior of his and sending us home.  I ended up spending one night in one emergency room (to be sent home), a second night in a different emergency room (where they admitted us and then sent us home the following afternoon), an hour drive to a behavioral intake appointment at the only place that could see us that day, and then a third night back at the first emergency room (where they finally admitted him because a rash had shown itself and given them something to diagnose).  At that point, he was so exhausted that he just slept and slept and received an anti-viral and fluids and really seemed to like the hospital.  By the time I drove home with him a week later, the entire frame of a new house had popped up in our subdivision.

At the hospital.  Because the crying photos are too hard to look at.

Due to how rough that was, any crying from him truly sets my nerves on edge.  He is an easygoing little boy, but he is also somewhat fussy.  He is perhaps beginning to learn the concept of communication, but mostly he conveys that he needs something by crying.  Then we have to figure it out.  Just this week, I've been driving him place to place and we've been trying to determine what exactly is bothering him.  It is not so severe as what happened in August, but something is hurting him.  We think now that it has to do with his teeth and he is going to receive some crowns soon.

With this fussy little boy, also comes a little boy that enjoys being cuddled by his mommy.  When we brought him home, I didn't know if he would ever want to be cuddled.  But he really does now.  He can't necessarily communicate it and he's really only learning to initiate contact with people, but sometimes when he is sad, the only thing that helps him stop crying is for me to just sit and hold him against my chest.  He takes cuddles from daddy too, but this week it has seemed like he really wants his mommy.

Which reminds me... I was able to go on an amazing week-long trip to Mexico with my collegio roomateo recently.  Coming back, I didn't expect to see a reaction from Caleb.  And I didn't.  But as we sat together on the floor, it would take a few moments and then he would turn and look at me and have a huge smile on his face.  We had a lot of really nice moments together.  It really did seem like he was happy and excited to see me and glad that I was home.  It was like his brain just needed a steady bit of time of us together and then it would register to him.

Caleb's special ed class seems great and he is integrated with a typical second grade classroom for a few subjects each day.  One sweet little girl in his sped class is his self-professed friend, which is just wonderful!  When you're not really a communicator, you kinda just need a girl to take control of the situation and declare yourselves friends.  She rides the bus home with him each day and she is so sweet.  Also, we found a church that we love and Caleb has a special friend (she herself is a special ed teacher) that goes with him to Sunday school.  On days that she cannot make it, we attend a different church that is near our house and has a special needs Sunday school class.  Also, Caleb attends another children's church when Matt and I go to our weekly married couples Bible class.  All of that to say, that though he is very much in parallel play stage, Caleb loves being a part of things.

In short, I am the mother of a special needs child.  It is a whole new world and a day-to-day journey of faith.  There is much more I've been working on to say in regards to that, but that is for a different day.

Love you all.

all the chitlins